


Heaven Forbid they see you Cry(As we Fall in Line)

by Rinnly



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hallucinations, M/M, March to the Sea, Suicide Attempt, idk i just had this mighty need
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 15:59:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinnly/pseuds/Rinnly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on March to the Sea.<br/>( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSDehrt5Zi0 )</p><p>Tyler follows the line. Follows the line to the end of the land, where the sand meets the sea.<br/>And maybe he can find solace at the end of the pier, where the soles of his shoes teeter half off the wood and the rain and the wind try to push him forward into the waters and the deadly tides.<br/>But sometimes fate likes to think otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven Forbid they see you Cry(As we Fall in Line)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure why I'm writing this but I felt a C A L L I N G when i first heard this song and it's taken me a year to get around to finally write this(yikes.)  
> Hope you enjoy!

There's miles of land in front of Tyler.

 

His feet were numb inside of of his vans, each step bringing a new heaviness and doubt to settle in his stomach(and an unmistakable squelching sound beneath his feet).  
The space between his toes, through the holes in the thin material, and beneath the arch of his foot, each crevice filled with every ounce of water and sludge that would stay inside his shoes without spilling out the sides and oozing out around his ankles. He wasn't positive when he had met that dip in the road, where diluted dirt that now swirling inside his shoes had pooled on the asphalt. And how he was the only one who's feet sank into it, pulling him deeper as he struggled to pull himself away from the strong grasp that only pulled him back.

  
Sometimes he tried to fix his gaze on the outline of the strangers back in front of him, to focus on the slight sway of their body as their steps never faltered in the dead of night. No one stumbled in the line that marched down the road. No one felt exhausted, drained, or so terrified like Tyler did. His feet would occasionally catch beneath themselves, his knees would buckle, his legs would give out and he would slump to the ground.  
The line would then stop the moment his knees hit the ground. He heard their steps slide to a halt all at once. Weakly raising his head, daring to catch a glance at their eyes. All he could see of them was their eyes, bodies conforming and engrossing into the night. Orbs white, gazes shallow, and they stared at him. Their gazes would burn through each little fiber of his being, as if blaming him with just a glance, as if all their pain was his fault. And he had convinced himself, he was the reason for their pain. He made all of these figures, these dark faces, shrouded in silence, suffer. The stares scorched his insides and had made him vomit twice in the course of the march.

 

His stomach now emptied of whatever remained last nights meal, his legs trembled as he stood(and he wasn't sure if he was the one doing it, but he managed.) and he lumbered forward, the scent of the ocean heavily mixed with the scent of rain, dense and murky as it hung around his head, and the sharp wafts of salt that nearly knocked him off his feet. He was so close. The road widened into a parking lot, the asphalt empty in the night, only accompanied by shallow puddles and the hiss of rain and the murmur of wind.  
Only one vehicle(a beaten up truck) was parked carelessly across two parking spaces. As he moved past it, his fingers reached out the brush the passenger door, the feeling of it's smooth surface sending a shiver up his spine of the reality of the situation dawned upon him.

He was here.

He smiled.

A couple distorted tones voiced their disappointment behind him. Each voice growing in volume, rising and falling in waves as they discussed his actions with inaudible mumbles and wheezes against his skin. He felt their stares burn through his chest and branded his mind.

  
_**Go.** _

 

He winced, shying away from the gazes that focused on him so intently.

 

  
**_Bad. Bad._ **

 

His mouth went dry, like he had swallowed his heart and it caught in the back of his throat.

  
  
**_Focus._ **

 

Tyler went rigid with guilt as he heard, no, felt those words breathed in his ears, his stomach dropping as sharp fingers poked his arm, dry palms pushed his shoulders, and sharp toes nudged the back of his legs with snorts and hums of distaste and disgust that he would interrupt the perfection of the line. He continued walking, his feet still dragging heavily across the concrete until they hitched on sand, the sound of the grains grinding beneath his shoes earning a couple hisses and spits. His fingers trembled and held the seams of his shirt, the cloth soaked through with rain water.

Through the material, through his skin, until glacial fingers grasped his bones and tightened their grip.

  
  
He closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing as his feet sunk into the sand, the sound of the waves amplified as they fought against the wind, thrashing against the relentless gales. He only took a few steps before he stumbled onto wood, kicking up sand that now mingled with the sludge in his shoes and between his toes. The pier was wide, barren, and the thin wood beneath him creaked and groaned beneath his weight. Only short rails lined the wooden structure that jutted out into the sea, and Tyler knew they would be easy to climb over and plunge into the water with the line, the line that had resumed their marching pattern. Tyler didn't look left or right, to recognize the ocean and it's violent tides, to glance at the shore, to know the violent currents beneath the surface.

  
Because he wasn't afraid.   
  
  


The line's march grew in volume. Each step growing longer in their strides, steps pounding against the wood that whined beneath the pressure, voices blotting with sharp inhales, heavy pants, each figure feeling the same thing: joy.

 

But Tyler didn't.

 

He was afraid.

  
  
_**Go. Go.** _

 

Tyler trembled, the end of the pier just strides away. He spent so much time getting here.

 

~~"Wait. Wait!"~~

 

Thinking of going here.

 

_**Go. GO. GO.** _

 

Thinking of ending it here. Right here.

 

~~"STOP!"~~

 

The pier roared with noise, each sound crashing into Tyler's ears, and the heavy strides behind him sent him into a frenzy of tears that sprung from his eyes as he shook, his body trembling unwillingly as he tried to urge himself forward.

He was so scared, so so scared.

 

**GO. GO. NOW.**

 

Tyler barely made it half a step off the pier before arms were pulling him back. Back onto the pier. Letting out a horrible scream as his back met the wood, Tyler's voice caught in the back of his throat as he sobbed loudly, the sound tearing from his throat as he wailed. The voices disappeared for a moment, as if processing the noises that escaped his lips. They all began their whispering, like their hearts were twisted all at once, their voices sharp in his ears as he trembled, their screeches growing in volume, each one voicing their indignation in different tones. Some bellowed their muffled cries, as if their lungs filled with water and their shrieks were shrill in his ears. Others let out growls, snarls, and loud roars of vexation, their voices hitting him likes waves that pushed his head underwater each time they crashed on top of him.

 

He was drowning.

Maybe, not in the way the line had intended, but he was choking and gasping and writhing.

 

Tyler felt hands shaking him, a muffled yell above him, only what he could assume was an angel clutching his shoulders. He gasped for breaths, trying to gulp in air that only was forced back out of his lungs. He whimpered, sobbing hoarsely, clutching the angel above him by their forearms. Their voice was distant, his ears ringing with lingering cackles and screams of the marching line. They still had their grip, lingering in his throat, filling each possibility of breath with their cold, dark fingers. His vision grew hazy, a dark ring around his vision closing in and swallowing him and enclosing him into darkness.

 

\---

 

His body hurt.

 

That was Tyler's initial thought as he stirred, his lung aflame and his limbs aching. A blanket, not the most comfortable as it itched against his skin(it was warm), was heavy on his shoulders as he fluttered open still heavy eyelids. He was met with a moving, black sky and rain hammering heavily across the asphalt that flew past him. The only thing keeping him from that, was a window. He was in a slightly inclined position, entire body leaning against a cushioned seat, and he felt the purr of a motor. He was in a car. This wasn't his mom's car, no, this was a loud truck that rattled muffled noises inside it's motor and it's heater blasted and sputtered it's warm air in random spurts. He felt his heart suddenly lurch in his chest and he sat up, swiveling around so fast he swore he could have given himself whiplash.

The driver, rightfully so, jumped out of his own skin and yelped. The vehicle lurched for a moment, but quickly swerved back to the right side of the road. Tyler went rigid and stared at the man. If he hadn't just woken up and was still in a daze, Tyler would feel guilty for staring. But right now, the brunette would be lying if he said the man next to him wasn't beautiful. Red hair matted against his forehead and the back of his neck, and wide almond shaped eyes partnered with panicked chocolate orbs(the look of worry didn’t look good on him), as well as a broad nose, arched brows, and a small stubble. He didn't process the fact he was making the man uncomfortable until he cleared his throat. The brunette flinched as the figure turned to face him, cowering beneath the stare. He must have noticed, and his gaze melted into a small, gentle smile. He could almost mistake it for adoration, the tenderness in his eyes helping peel away a small layer of the underlying panic that still simmered in his chest. And Tyler knew he was in the presence of an angel at this point because as soon as the man spoke, Tyler's worries were shoved to the back of his mind, just for a moment.

"Hey. m' name's Josh."

 

"...Tyler."

 

It fell silent for a moment, but Josh spoke up, not faltering his gaze upon the brunette. "Do you want to crash at my place? I got some kick-ass cereal."

Tyler felt a small laugh shudder from his throat, shoulders slightly shaking as he felt a smile try to form it's way onto his lips. "That sounds good to me, man."

 

The rest of the drive was silent. It was a comfortable silence, the car radio distorting and squealing out high pitched snippets of sound that were abruptly cut off by white noise. Tyler visibly flinched at the noises, the noises the line made were so similar, and Josh was quick to mute it as he saw the distraught crease to Tyler's brows.

"We're almost there, anyways."

With a reassuring flash of a smile. The rest of the time, Tyler curled his knees up to his chest and watched the world around him, or at least as much as he could see through the darkness that shrouded the land. He watched the heaviest drops trail down the window and mentally placed bets on which one would reach the bottom first and passed the time pulling loose strands from the blanket. Interrupting his sudden daze, delving deep into empty thoughts, the car lurched forward for a moment, slowing as it pulled into a driveway. 

Parking in front of a two story house, Josh pulled the key out of the ignition and sat back. "Wanna go in, or hang here for a bit?"

Tyler averted his gaze, murmuring softly into the blanket. "We can go in."

 

Within fifteen minutes, Josh and Tyler were seated on the couch, each holding a bowl of lucky charms. Tyler tried his best to hold back the hunger that clawed at his stomach, but ended up wolfing down the late night snack, tilting his head back as he drank the remaining milk in the bottom of the bowl. Wiping his mouth, he sat back and let out a content sigh, still wrapped up in that itchy, heavy, but warm blanket. Josh's laugh was soft, and brief as Tyler glanced up at him from his position, slouched into the couch.

"Want another bowl?"

 

Tyler nodded frantically, a childish look of hope on his face. Josh chuckled, ruffling the others hair.

"I'll get us some more. Wait here."

 

Josh returned seconds later, two full bowls in hand as he sat down, handing one to Tyler as he fidgeted with the spoon in between his fingers.

"Hey.. Uh. Can we talk?"

 

Tyler already had a spoonful in his mouth, looking up with suddenly pale eyes as his stomach plummeted. He dropped his gaze, nodding.

"...Sure."

 

"What were you following when you walked out onto the pier? If you don't mind me asking.. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I understand."

 

Tyler went rigid as the words sunk into his skin, through his chest, and coiled around his stomach until he felt sick and the second bowl of lucky charms didn't seem so appetizing now. His eyes dropped to his lap, averting Josh's concerned gaze. He carded trembling fingers through his hair, lips twitching as he clawed at an attempt to hold back tears. His voice failed him as he spoke with a particular hoarseness in the back of his throat, tears forming and rolling down his cheeks.

"The line."

 

Josh was surprisingly understanding, nodding with gentle encouragement, gently allowing the brunette to lean against his chest as he sniffled.

"And that line. They wanted you to... follow them off that pier?"

 

Josh felt Tyler move his head up, face brushing along the man’s neck as he nodded. Trembling, warm breaths fanning over fair skin until Tyler was pressed under Josh's chin with small breaths as he recollected himself. His hands followed in mapping out every inch of Josh, gently feeling over the defined biceps and broad shoulders through his t-shirt, trailing down the firm muscle across his abdomen, finally settling as his fingers splaying across Josh’s chest as he leaned against the angel of a human being. His eyes closed, body going lax as he focused on his breathing.  Eyes lidded as a tender expression crossed Josh’s features, and the way his eyes crinkled a little bit as his smile shone with adoration. The brunette was way too preoccupied with getting a feel for the other, and just knowing he was  _ real, _  to recognize the fact that Josh’s fingers had moved to his jaw. Caressing his jawline, Josh swept a thumb across Tyler’s cheek, tears still fresh across tanned skin.

Tyler's body still trembled, even as he pulled the heavy(and itchy, but he ignored that) blanket tighter around his shoulders and draped it over the two as he curled against Josh's chest. Josh spoke with a warm, reassuring smile that Tyler found himself exchanging hope with the angel.  Maybe he was being stupid, swelling with dumb faith, and boyish wishes, but he felt his throat swallow down the last traces of the dark figures, shrouded in silence, and white, narrow eyes that burned into his lungs with judgement.

 

Now, all he felt was Josh's smile, radiant and genuine against the top of his head.

 

" _Follow me instead._ "


End file.
